I was too concern about moving forward, doing what I need for my future self.
As I turned my head, to where I started everything, I bust into tears, all I see is my grey-haired parents taking care of the two grandchildren. Ya Allah, the worries in me goes on.. I am worried if I am not serving my parents right before it's too late.
One day, I went home, I opened the door, seeing papa entertaining my nephews with his funny dance, my mum was cooking in the kitchen, preparing the best home-cooked dishes for all of us while waiting for my sister to get home from work. It feels so much like a place where I wish I could be everyday. I sit on the couch in the living room and then helped my mum, definitely not gonna let that moment passes by quickly if i went upstairs straightaway. (And then my eldest brother came and killed the moment on that instant)
Today i saw part of the diary written by my late grandfather in 2007..recapping how life was when my grandparents were here. At that moment, I don't understand much, but I always saw my grandfather woke up to do solah almost every night, I observed and he said he really hoped all his grandchildren will always be protected by Him. I guess your wishes has been granted Tokayah. I would have been drowned into doing sins if not because of your duas especially living abroad when the only safeguard you have is what lies within your heart.
As now my grandparents from both sides have left all of us, our life goes on. There are days we forget about them when we're too busy sorting our lives. There are also days, we cried to sleep, remembering them and the memories that can never happen again. Al-fatihah.
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